Wednesday, December 26, 2012

We Survived!!

After the party
The end of the world was a bust, but the 'Day after the end of the world party' was a blast.
A special thank you to Robin for hosting this and to her poor husband Stu, who was in charge of cooking endless piles of pancakes and bacon for the trail running group.
We were also waited on by the lovely 3 Ashton girls who, kept the food coming and kept up their end to the many different conversations taking place through the house.
I am sure we have now officially made Robin swear off ever inviting the running group over again, because we actually show up and don't leave.
The next home we demolish is the Benson residence on New Years Day for the Pacer fun run.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

After December 22nd Saturday Morning Run

Day After the End of the World Run / Potluck

  • Run at Medway Trail at 8:00 as usual
  • Potluck brunch afterwards (9:30ish - ?
  • Robin Ashtons home just minutes from the trail head
  • 1698 Attawandaron Road
  • Pancakes and coffee provided by the Ashton clan
  • Please bring items for the potluck table (Tim Bits is cheating)
  • If the world does not in fact end on December 21, there is no Post-apocalypse 'rain date', sorry
  • RSVP

* Please bring a change of clothes so we don't stink the place up

Friday, November 23, 2012

Screw Shoes

Thinking of hibernating because you don’t like the idea of running on ice and snow?
Have you purchased Yak Tracks and seem to lose one every year on the trail?
Let me introduce you to Screw Shoes.
For under $10 bucks you will have enough screws to do yours, and numerous friends after you tell them how great it works.
To make a pair of screw shoes, you need to get a package of 3/8” or 1/2″ x # 8 hex head self taping screws.  These will be available at a Home Hardware, Home Depot, Lowes or your local hardware store.
Next get a socket to fit the end of the hex head screw, a cordless drill, and of course a pair of trail running shoes.
Decide where you want the screws. Don’t place them too close to the edges or in the grooves of the shoe. For best traction the lugs on the heel and the ball of the foot areas of the tread should be your prime target area. There is no set number of screws that should be used, so you can do some test runs to see what works best for you.
If you have a reasonable amount of tread left on your shoes, you shouldn’t have to worry about screw penetration, but make sure to check before you go running in them.
Place the screws in sufficient numbers to cover the ball of the foot area and heel, and anywhere else you like.  Note the random pattern in the photo.
The great thing about the screw shoe is if you lose a few screws , you just screw some more back in,  In the spring you simply unscrew them and you are back on the roads and trails again, no worse for wear.
Do not wear them in doors, as they will ruin the finish on hard wood floors or other surfaces, and you will think you are wearing ice skates if you wear them on ceramic tile.
Or do you want to wear them while driving, as you may find that the screw heads do not slide off the gas pedal when going for the break, and that tiny bit of delay could be a cause of an accident.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Soiled Sport 2012 Series Winners

 1st Overall Female
Simona Dobransky,

1st Overall Male
Danny (Woo Hoo) Murphy

At the London Pacer's Running Club brunch and awards banquet, the audience was at the edge of their seats in anticipation of who this years winners were of the coveted 'Soiled Sport Series' jacket.
Unfortunately for them they first had to wait for me to go through some of the stories I accumulated over the 30 weeks of the series.
And as you know I never let the truth stand in the way of a good story, also I tend to pick on those who are not present. (less law suits for slander and defamation of character)
Before getting to the overall winners I went through the ten others who make up the 'Dirty Dozen' leaders.

  1. Richard B.
  2. Michael L.
  3. Peter B.
  4. Chuck E.
  5. Eric M.
  6. Joseph F.
  7. Melanie R.
  8. Heather Mc.H
  9. Treena K.
  10. Zoe & Johnny Rotten
Thanks to Mountain Hardwear & Columbia for providing overall winners running jackets that they will be proud to wear, and some toques for the 10 others.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Vulture Bait on You Tube

Click on this link:

Yes its true, Vulture Bait Trail Race 2012 is on You Tube.
A race reporter from Get Out There magazine ran the 25k and had glowing remarks on film about the race.
He also said that out of all the races he has reported on in 2012 the VBTR out classed all the others, road and trail, hands down.
And just a heads up, the VBTR 2013 is now officially 25% sold as of Wednesday and with 5 days left of the early-early bird for the 2012 runners, we hope to be at 50% when we close off registration till February at full rates.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The best running shoe knot

You have been able to tie your shoes since you were a baby, and when you started running you were told to do a double knot so laces would not come untied as you were leading the race.
But we all know that the double knot is not perfect. Yes it can still come undone but worse is in the winter when you are done running in sub zero temperatures you are almost tempted to cut the laces off because they are frozen solid and your fingers are numb.
Well rather than revert to Velcro closures, may I recommend the best shoe lace knot around. 'The Swiss Knot'
It is so easy to do, and stays tied till you give it a gentle tug when the run is over.
I have included a You Tube video since the proof is in seeing it done.
Also know for reenactments in the bedroom from your favorite chapters of Shades of Grey for those who don't own hand cuffs, but what happens in your bedroom is your business.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Londoner Finishes Badwater 135

Dave Carver
Londoner and Ultra running machine, Dave Carver finished 21st overall, covering 135 miles (217km) non-stop from Death Valley to Mt. Whitney, CA in temperatures up to 130F / 55c, it is the most demanding and extreme running race offered anywhere on the planet.
Dave's finishing time was 32:10.3

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Why am I the only muddy one?

Pictured here after the Creemore Vertical Challenge 25K Race, you will notice that the other three have already been dipping into the Mad River to get cleaned off of mud and sweat. And Richard Bird had already left for a family function by the time I finished.
Pictured from left to right: Danny (Woo-Hoo) Murphy @ 2:51.50, Larry (slow train to no where) Gooder @ 3:40.0, Bill (Hoover) Wheeler @ 2:06.44 and 'Chef' Andre Kaniuk @ 2:51.04.
And Richard Bird not shown, finished in 2:24.04.
The weather went from a huge thunder, lightening and heavy rain to sunny and humid for the race. The few trail sections were of the shoe sucking mud variety and the gentle Mad River was running fast and deep.
Anyone who wants a race that you will love to hate, this is the one as it earns it's name Creemore Vertical Challenge.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Bill Wheeler Retires From 3M

Yes it's true and here is the video to prove it, Bill Wheeler has made the big break from 3M.
Amid rumors that Bill had mistakenly switched the formula for the 3M adhesive for the Post It Note with the VHB (Very High Bond) sealing tape, his "retirement" was not a surprise to upper management or the legal liability department .
The company stock on the New York Stock Exchange has spiked by 10% since Friday, but cafeteria sales at the Oxford Street plant has plummeted and lay offs are expected.
Way to go Bill!!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Christine Torres wins Niagara Ultra 100K

Did I mention that while I was out doing a measly little 1/2 marathon at Niagara, Londoner Christine Torres won the 100km event overall?

The following is a write up in London City Life Magazine from last year on some London notables well established in Ultra Running events.

Monday, June 25, 2012

I hate road races!!

OK, so everyone who has ever been within ear shot of my whining on the trails, knows that I hate road races. So why do I sign up for the Niagara 1/2 Marathon when I know it is 99.99% pavement and the temperatures are always hot and humid. 
Well for those that can be swayed with bull shit its because the course is scenic and relatively flat. But those in the know, will guess correctly that I would do a race anywhere when there is free beer at the end. Because we all know beer tastes best when free, cold and served at 10:00 am.

I also got to witness the Connor boys at work.Steve did the 1/2 Marathon and finished in 1:28.18 taking 8th overall and first in age group.
And I finished just behind Steve. (as did a hundred others that were blocking me all the way)

Pat pictured here, marked this as his 50th marathon, with a finish time of 3:57.50. But I was well ahead of him at the beer table.

Friday, March 2, 2012

It Must Be Spring

Soiled Sport's Fat Ass Trail Series 2013

We here at Soiled Sport head office, are pleased to announce the start date of the much anticipated Fat Ass Trail Series 2013.
Due to a colder than expected winter  we can expect to wear our screw shoes at the start this year.
As in past years the season opener will be Meadowlilly Trails in south east London.
Saturday April 6th 
Located off of Commissioners Road, just east of Meadowlilly Road, across from Rona. Drive down to the bottom of the hill and park at the bottom where it dead ends at the river. Or click on the 'Directions' link on the right hand side of this page and you will see all trail locations on Google Maps.
Start time is 8:01 am
Distance is approximately 10Km

All 30 weeks will be posted in the right hand column. (your other right,Danny)

Please remember this is all 'Fat Ass Style' running: No water stations, No volunteers, No sympathy

Fat Ass events started back in the late 70's when a runner was fed up with rising costs of running a race and the rising costs of holding a race.

There are three basic rules to a Fat Ass event:
  1. No fees

  2. No awards

  3. No whining
And you get what you pay for, no shirts, no aid stations and no sympathy.
As in previous years, the rules I just dream up after a drunken stooper, such as:
  • 10 points for completing a Saturday trail run

  • 10 points for completing an Ontario Ultra Series race

  • 10 points for volunteering for a London Pacer hosted event
  • 10 bonus points for wearing Soiled Sport/Vulture Bait/London Pacer shirts, when instructed via this blog before the trail run

  • 25 points for wearing the recalled LuLu Lemon yoga pants that became see through when worn. (sorry Ken, woman only)

  • Extra bonus points for attempting to bribe me with cheesecake, booze and winning lottery tickets

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Spring is coming soon....I hope

February 11th, -10c / -20wc
Thanks to global warming I have been running all winter in shorts, but may have been tempting the weather gods today.

Monday, February 6, 2012

I should be so lucky to dream this big.

So there we were, running with Iris Cooper and I asked what she had planned for her next big ultra event.
Well she said this year she was putting the Badwater 135 off till next year, so she can visit her parents in Switzerland. But she noticed a new ultra event just listed in Switzerland and she will probably do this while making the visit with her family.
The Swiss Iron Trail is a 201 Km trail race, is a new event that takes you over numerous mountains and each aid station has a cut off time you must meet to proceed. With a maximum time allowed of 56 hours.

(pictured above L-R: Monica, Iris and Veronique)

So after finishing Monica's February 20 / 40 Km Fun Run, we headed back to Casa Del Scholz for veggie chili , cold beverages and tall tails.
It was here that Monica, ever to casually said, "you know I think I may just do that Swiss Iron Trail Race".
Now how does a person take in information like: 201km and 56 hour maximum time, let alone the numerous big piles of rock called the Swiss Alps and think this is something to sign up for over a bowl of chili???
I have to do a weeks planning just to get my ass in gear to show up at her 20k fun run for wimps!
But as Bill Wheeler, Danny Murphy and I were driving home, we thought ' hey wouldn't it be neat if we went to crew for them'.
That may be all well and fine for those two, as they are speed demons and would have no problem doing any pacing requirements with either Monica or Iris, but I would be afraid they would kick the sh%t out of me if I tried to pace them as I would be holding them back.
But maybe they need someone to look after a beer cooler or something, then I am all in.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Monica's January Fun Run

If this is going to be what to expect for weather the rest of January, you better pass the sun block.
My running idol Monica Scholz has a monthly '20 & 4o km Fun Run' on the Sulphur Springs trail near Ancaster, during the winter months to get rid of the winter blues.
Well as you can see by the above photo of January 7th the only thing blue is the sky. With temperatures around +7 at the finish it was damn near spring like.
In the picture there are some of Ontario's elite trail runners:
  • Canadian female 100 mile record holder Iris Cooper (fourth from the left)
  • Record holder for running end to end of the 894 km Bruce Trail, Charlotte Vasarhelyi (fourth from right)
  • Trail Runner Magazine Series 2nd place female in ultra's is Kinga Miklos (third from left)
  • Trail Runner Magazine Series 1st place male 50+, Bill Wheeler
Also, both Kinga and her husband Stephan (2nd from right) were using this as a 40km taper run for the H.U.R.T. 100 Mile race in Hawaii the next weekend. Now tell me that this does not make you feel like a slug.
In the back ground is our newest addition to the Soiled Sport Trail Running Group, Danny Murphy. He is the one in the background with arms up and screaming "Wooooo!!"
Other than the three of us from London, I think everyone else did the 40Km yet look just as relaxed as Bill and Danny after our 20Km's.
Afterwards we were invited to Monica and Phil's home for veggie chili, cold drinks and 'Super Store' bread. (inside joke pointed at Bill Wheeler)
We sat around and basked in stories of running adventures from this group, that again makes one feel like we better kick it up a notch or three.
You all know I have nothing but praise for Monica as I love her to death, but the truth is I want to be adopted by her mom and dad.
Her father Dieter, does the aid stations for the fun run and weather is never a barrier and is like a mother hen when you are at the aid station making sure you get something or topping up water bottles. If you cant find something at his aid station from food to drink to sports gue, it must not exist.
Toni, her mom is just a saint, who just happens to make butter tarts to die for.

Play Dirty...Run Trails